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”Her: “And distance, as well.”Me: “Fine. But can I ask you one last question?”Her: “Go ahead.”Me: “What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?”A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following.‎ Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from. This time, the audience paid close attention and were appreciative of the bang and tossed dirt produced by the impact of the mortar bomb.Now it was time for a demonstration of the 105mm mortar. Bob selected a target 200m away. There was much more involved in setting up the 105, mostly because it was a bigger device. However, this time, the audience paid attention to every step the mortar crew went through. Finally, they were ready and Bob told them to fire a round. These larger rounds were much heavier than the 62mm rounds, so a large man was acting as loader. He had to struggle to get the round lined up properly and drop it into the tube.He dropped the round into the tube and dove for cover. He had been impressed by everything he had seen so far and was taking no chances. Well, this time, there was more noise as the round was launched, and its impact was awaited by the audience in great anticipation. Of course, there was an even bigger bang this time, and several people were.
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